Elevation eKidz Blog

If there’s one thing I can’t deny about my four-year-old Dylan, it’s that she likes to have fun. But, not your typical day to day type fun folks. She’s the kid that asks what we’re doing and where we’re going every five minutes just to make sure that every nanosecond of the day, fun is present.

Despite the fact that she has more toys than furniture in her room, going home is still absolutely dreadful in her little four-year-old mind. Because, well, it’s just not fun enough.

Maybe that’s true for your kid too. Maybe your little one is a fun-time-having enthusiast as well. Or, maybe your kid would rather curl up in a corner by themselves and read a good old book upside down. Whichever way your child leans, what I know to be true is that as parents, we all have to have a healthy balance of fun in our homes. No matter what type of kid you have, both types of kids, all kids, need both fun AND order in the home.

66such a beautiful way. She talks about this idea of pursuing the balance needed to stay in the middle of whichever “ends” of it you’re trying to pursue. And in this case, while fun is absolutely needed in the home, we are to pursue order and discipline as well. Julie says “We are to manage the tension between ENJOYING this day and EQUIPPING for one day.”

And isn’t that a perfect description of what the balance of fun and order look like? We all want to enjoy our kids, right? But, in the same breath, we know that we also have to be consistent with order so that we can one day stare into the eyes of our kind, responsible, loving adults.

So, how do you do that? How do you ensure that you’re balancing the right amount of fun and order into your home?

I’m so glad you asked!

Because of my childhood and how strict my father was, I am absolutely the parent that leans towards order and discipline in my home. I have the hardest time maintaining fun with my four-year-old, especially because she’s a fun maniac. I’m always questioning if she’s getting the right amount of order that will help her become a kind, responsible and loving adult. I get so afraid that she’s wanting so much fun, it’ll take away from the principles she should be learning.

Well, here are some things that I do to help stay in a healthy balance of both:

1. Being intentional about keeping fun games visible in our home.
Matching cards, puzzles and board games. I leave them right there on the counter and family tables so that if my little sees it, she’s bound to ask and I’m sure to remember that it may be time for a game.

2. Creating family tradition days
Friday’s are movie nights. Saturday’s always include some type of outdoor activity, if weather permits. And, I refer to the Parent Cue App daily for the fun activities that go along with bible stories and verses.

3. Building a behavior chart
Or as we like to call it “Dylan’s Good Girl Chart” (see what we did there). This helps infuse both order (it outlines the things that we want her to work on) and fun (the rewards for great behavior are all quality time fun-based).

4. Trying my best to stay in tune with my little
I know Dylan loves to have loads of fun, so I try to really focus on how she’s feeling in the moment. I can tell when she’s just on a fun marathon and has had enough fun and when I’ve given her so much energy towards order and discipline that she needs a break for some fun.

You know your child better than anyone else. So, use your instinct. Use your experience to pick up on the cues he or she gives you. And, remember this; there will be seasons of unbalance. There will be times where more order and discipline are needed to really equip your future adult and so you’ll have to give a whole bunch of that. Then there will be those incredible seasons that we all wait for, where we get to just simply enjoy our littles, play in the sand, create pretend worlds, and laugh until we snort.

No matter what season you’re in, know this; your kind, responsible and loving future adult needs nothing else but you. Keep parenting guys, we got this.

For more blog posts and parenting resources, visit ParentCue.org.

Life can be challenging and unpredictable. And, if you’re parenting a two-year-old, you’re guaranteed this year will have plenty of both. That sweet baby who used to cuddle in your arms has not only learned how to walk but now he can run away from you—and fast. That little angel whose smile used to light up your world can now smile at you as she drops your phone—into the bathtub.

Personally, I’ve raised two men that have given me four beautiful grandchildren all currently under the age of six years old. I’ve seen enough to know the phrase “terrible twos” wasn’t invented without reason. There are days in this phase when “terrible” may seem like the only word to characterize the state of your home, your schedule, and your patience. This is the phase when a toddler suddenly explodes with personality.

It’s the moment they fall to the floor screaming because you cut their sandwich the wrong way. Or you bring them the milk they asked for, and they realize they really wanted orange juice. Or you tell them they aren’t allowed to do that completely irrational thing they were just trying to do, and the world suddenly falls apart. Yes, you will have moments this year when you stare, wide-eyed, at the determined child in front of you and wonder, What am I supposed to do with this?

The answer, even though it may not seem true in the moment, is really what it has always been: Love. Becoming a grandparent has heightened my senses to my grandchildren’s need for love. It’s funny, the way time gives us perspective. Love is the thing every selfish, stubborn, crazy-headed toddler needs most.

I remember when my grandson Amari was two he told me he loved me for the first time.  Each time he said it, he put his whole body into it. It was like he couldn’t say it loud enough or strong enough. He just had to let me know that HE LOVED ME!

One day, as I was leaving his house, we started a back-and-forth shouting match to tell each other how much we loved each other. It was so passionate and so pure that I took out my cell phone and recorded him on video. Within days after sharing it on social media, over 26 million people had watched, commented, and shared the video. The video was shown on Good Morning America and The Ellen Show.

I know most people’s toddler videos don’t make national television. But that’s not the point. The point is there’s something about the love of a two-year-old that can capture the heart of a nation. And that love is inside your child too.

Sure, this year your toddler is becoming more independent. But that means when she shows you love and affection, she does it because she chooses to. When he tells you he loves you, he says it because he means it. And as the parent of a two-year-old, you’ll discover you have more love inside you than you ever knew possible. It’s a shouting-match kind of love that will see you through the tantrums. It’s a love that may catch you off guard as you find yourself captivated by this adorable, growing, bundle of personality.

For more blog posts and parenting resources, visit ParentCue.org.